The First Step Principle

What often stops me from taking that first step or next step to add something good to my life is my mind conjuring up all the effort and work it will take to finish it. When this happens my internal brakes are triggered and I start believing thoughts like "Oh, that will take so much effort and you are really over committed right now. Don't take on something new unless you know you'll finish it- you don't like starting things you don't finish right? Isn't that what your parents and teachers taught you- don't start something unless you can finish it!" In a matter of a few seconds, I've talked myself out of taking the first step, and file the idea away in the "someday" file in my mind, where it usually dies a quick death from starvation of attention. That "someday" file is really an idea death camp.

Here's what I've found is actually true and is a much better way to live: Adding something good to my life is much easier than I anticipate it will be. Why? Because I don't actually have to do all the things my fear-based imagination tells me I'll have to do. I spend too much of my mental energy "anticipating"-- trying to project into the future all the things that will happen once I start something. The truth is, my "anticipation" skills are highly overrated and almost always very wrong.

What happens once I actually take the first step to add something good to my life often amazes me as things start to fall in place that I didn't anticipate would. Yes there are often twists and turns that I didn't anticipate at all- but they are always things that help me to grow, and because I'm IN MOTION and have some MOMENTUM behind me, I can more easily and effectively respond to what comes my way, instead of just sitting there "anticipating and delaying" and never starting.

The principle is simple- if you want to add something good to your life- stop yourself from going into anticipation and delay mode and just take the first step.  You don't have to finish anything right now.  In fact all you ever have to do is take the first step, and then the next step as it presents itself to you.  And the next step is often not at all what you anticipated anyway. 

This principle can be applied to any thing you want to add to your life- and it works in both the positive and negative mode.  All addictions are examples of how this principle works in the negative mode- they all start out with the first little step- which seems harmless enough.  But then it makes the next step easier and the one after that easier still.  I only bring up the negative here to illustrate that the very same principle is at play, and most of us have experienced either directly or indirectly the results of the first step principle playing out in the negative. 

But let's stay focused on the positive application of the principle.    What is something positive you would like to add to your life?  Becoming and early riser?  Becoming more fit?  Creating an artistic project for you home?  Reading a book you've always wanted to read?  Writing a book you've always wanted to write?  Whatever it is, just ask yourself "What's the first (or next) step?"  Then just do it without over-analyzing it.   Don't waste energy "getting ready to get ready".  Don't analyze and research "how to" do it all.  Just take the first simple step.  When your mind starts lecturing you on how you are over committed already- just say "Thanks for trying to protect me- I know that's what you're doing- but It's just a little thing I'm going to do right now- only one step.  I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow."  That's right, you use the same arguments that you've listened to a believed in the past when operating in the negative, but now you turn it around and apply it to the positive.  "It's just one little step- no big deal.  I can stop anytime I want to. "

So if you want to be an early riser, just get up at 5 AM and do some deep breathing and stretching or go for a walk or meditate- but only for today- just today.  If you like it, maybe you'll do it tomorrow too and pretty soon you'll develop a habit of being an early riser.   If you want to be more fit- then just for today, pass on second servings or dessert.  You can always do something different tomorrow- we're just talking about today.  Go on a walk or jog or buy a yoga DVD and do a yoga session at home- no big deal- just for today. 

What I think you'll find as you start living more like I'm proposing, is that you'll starting living much more in the present moment.  You'll start to recapture lots of mental energy that was being wasted trying (but failing) to live in the future or beating yourself up by reliving the past over and over again.   You'll be less afraid to take on new challenges because really it's just a little thing- that next step is all that you need to focus on. 

Now I'm not saying that having big goals and plans is a bad thing.  On the contrary, I believe in them- they're useful things if kept within their proper bounds.  The problems is that all too often what starts out as a big goal, turns into a fear based motivator- the fear of not making our goal drains our energy and takes our focus off the next step.  Eventually that goal has become  just another hammer we beat ourselves up with because we didn't accomplish it when by the time we wanted to.  Just another "proof" that we're not "successful". 

So what are the proper bounds for outcome based goals?  To give us direction and initial lift off, and to help us check our progress along the way or re-orient ourselves if we loose sight of what we want.  But big outcome goals must quickly be converted into little process practices and our attention needs to be drawn toward doing the little thing- the next step.  Just getting up at 5 AM today.  Just walking for 30 minutes today.  Just making 5 sales calls today- regardless of whether you get a NO or a YES.  Little simple victories on a daily basis.   Of course, if our process isn't getting us any closer to our desired outcome, then we need to change course and try something new- but that's simple too- because it's just one step in a different direction.

Another likely possibility is that as we focus on taking the next little steps and as things start happening that we didn't anticipate, we discover that there are doors that start opening further down the path that we couldn't have seen at the beginning of the path.  Opportunities arise that were always there- but out of our site until we started down the path.  Maybe our original goal no longer seems important and a new goal takes it's place that we wouldn't have discovered if we didn't start down the path.  In my own experience, this is what makes life so fun and interesting- starting down a path- taking the first step and then the next- and seeing what kinds of great opportunities present themselves.  To be sure many of the doors are sidetracks and distractions taking us away from our desired path, but some are revelations and insights that clarify our true path.  Telling the difference is a matter of having fixed values but to keep us from straying too far off our true path and paying attention to our emotions and letting them guide us to what is right- even if we end up going in a very different direction than we originally set out on.   Water is a great metaphor used by many ancient wise men.  Water knows what it is and where it's ultimate destination is, but it is very flexible and can get to the ocean in many different ways as it works around obstacles and always finds opportunities to progress along it's path. 

So- you've read another article- will it matter in your life?  It will if you put the principle into action in your life.  I invite you to pick something positive you've been wanting to add to your life.  It doesn't matter if it’s a big or small thing- because the reality is- everything is a small thing really- just the next step ahead of you is all you ever need to focus on.   Then just ask yourself "What's the next step?"  A good size step is something that won't take more than just a few minutes.  Then just do it- it's only a few minutes- you can do that!

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John Groberg writes on a wide variety of topics related to personal and spiritual growth.  His slogan is Grow. By Choice™.  His articles draw out principles of personal and spiritual growth common to the world’s ancient wisdom and spiritual texts as well as many of the great philosophers, poets, and writers of ancient and modern times.   These principles are then put to the test in his own life with an emphasis on simple, sustainable practices we can apply in our daily lives to more effectively deal with the stresses and struggles of modern life and to more fully realize the benefits of deliberate growth.   John developed a model called the Divine-Align-Shine model as a way of visually organizing the principles, practices and the overall process of personal and spiritual growth.   His writings are cataloged and organized on his website, http://johngroberg.com  where contact information is available.