How To Compare Yourself To Others

Let's face it, we all compare ourselves to others multiple times every day.  Since comparing ourselves to others is something we do so often- we might as well learn how to do it right.  By right, I mean with the result being that we feel more grateful about our current situation, not less grateful.  Feeling less grateful is typically what happens when we compare ourselves to others. 

Here's a little phrase that I like to use to help me feel more grateful when I find myself comparing myself to others. Like another one of my favorites, “Thank You Father, That I Am Here, Now” this one too has just eight words and helps me to keep my attention focused on my blessings instead of my perceived lack. 

I first heard this little eight word phrase listening to a talk radio show by a guy named Joe Crummey. I don’t listen to much talk radio anymore- much less than I used to- I find much of it incompatible with a peaceful mind and a drain of attention from things I can control (myself) to things I can't (everyone and everyting else).  But I digress. The main thing I remember about Joe Crummey’s show was how he would respond to callers that would inevitably ask “How’s it going?” He would answer:

“Better than most, not as good as some.” 

It struck me as clever and funny when I first heard that, but over time, I have learned that there is actually great wisdom in that phrase.   Over the years since hearing this phrase, I have thought of it often as I have noticed myself trying to compare me with others.   I have found this phrase especially useful in times when I’m feeling a little down on myself or “lacking” in some way as I compare myself unfavorably to others.     

A Dog Barks, An Ego Compares 

We’ve talked about the nature of the Ego in previous posts.   So- just to review- I do not see the Ego as some sort of negative or evil aspect of our nature that must be eliminated or overcome.   To the contrary, it is something to be grateful for, to appreciate, but at the same time to lead and manage, not to be lead or managed by.   Among the many useful aspects of the Ego is that it is constantly comparing- measuring how it is different from others, how it stacks up against the competition.   In fact the Ego is the very essence of differentiation.   It is the layer of consciousness just over the unified field of consciousness that unifies us all.   It is the layer of consciousness that gives us a sense of separateness from all others, a sense of “self”.    We’ll leave the intriguing topic of the Layers of Life for another post- hopefully soon I’ll take that one on as it is fascinating.  

So- a snake slithers, a dark barks, a cat meows, and an ego compares. That’s just the way it is, and you might as well accept it (and be grateful for it too). Since you have an Ego- guess what? You compare! Of course you already know this all too well. 

From a very young age we start comparing: 

·       My one year old quickly sizes up two pieces of banana on her tray and takes the biggest piece first. 

·       My four year old sees his older brothers getting more ice cream than he got and the world is out of balance until he gets more.  

·       My eight year old Cub Scout is concerned that a friend in the scout pack has earned more awards than he has so far and they both entered the pack within a few weeks of each other- so he’s behind! 

By the time we’re teenagers our comparing muscles are really getting worked out:  

·       She is more popular than me 

·       He is stronger and more athletic than me 

·       I am smarter than they are 

·       They have cooler clothes than I do 

·       He likes me better than her. 

·       I’m 2^nd chair in the orchestra and 1^st chair is younger than me- but obviously has no social life because they must spend all their spare time practicing.   So really, I’m better than she is because I’m more well rounded.   But still, I should be 1^st chair! 

By the time we’re adults, we’re certified masters: 

·       I make more money than he does 

·       I have a better education than she does 

·       They have a nicer house than I do 

·       He drives a nicer car than I do 

·       My political views are more enlightened than theirs 

·       My favorite sports team is better than yours 

·       I am more honest than he is- he’ll eventually get what’s coming to him! 

·       My kids are better/worse behaved than their kids. 

·       Their house is always cleaner than mine. 

While we’re comparing, I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t have the natural ability of comparing in spades- we’re all pros at it by now- but I just might be a little better at it than you! 

 

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