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While I may have the best of intentions for undertaking
actions- when I
attach conditions of desired outcomes to those actions before I
can feel happy, I have now become vain- I have placed my will
above God's will.
Instead of making an offering of service to God and giving all
the glory to God, I have held back the best part by harboring a
desire for receiving some or all of the glory of my actions for
myself- in the form of desired external or even internal
rewards. I
have made Cain's offering instead of Abel's. The placement of my will
above God's is exactly how we have defined
vanity.
And ultimately the fruit of all vanity is misery as the
Bhagavad Gita teaches us in this passage. Now misery itself
is not necessarily bad- it is simply a consequence- and
consequences are the best teachers. Misery is life's way of
softening us up to learn what we need to learn so we can
grow spiritually.
How much of your life has been lived in misery in the form of
being constantly anxious about the results of what you
do? Believing that
things should turn out a certain way and when they don't,
feeling miserable. And even when things do
turn out the way we wanted them to, we are all too often not
really grateful, because we only got what we expected and there
isn't lasting satisfaction in that. And even if we are
somewhat grateful when things do turn out the way we want them
to- it never lasts- things are always changing- mostly out of
our control, so any happiness is fleeting at best because
before long we start getting things we don't want or not
getting things we want and we're miserable again.
So how do we break out of this self-imposed misery
trap? The answer
is also given in the passage. We strive to unify our
consciousness with God. We strive to unify our will
with God's will.
Not in the self-deceiving way of vain ambition where we
convince ourselves that our will is God's will, but in the
humble and truthful way of Jesus Christ- the way of "not my
will by thy will be done."
As we move in that direction, we begin to understand that all
our worry and anxiety over how things turn out has really been
unnecessary. It's
not our job to know the ultimate effects of our contribution-
it is just our job to contribute as we feel inspired to
contribute. All we
need to do is offer our service to God and others, and not
worry ourselves about whether things go "well or ill".
Does this mean we shouldn't try to make a
difference? We
shouldn't try our best to do good things and want good results
from what we do?
Is there something wrong with striving for an outcome we
want? Not at
all. I believe it
is fine to desire certain outcomes and to undertake planning
and execution (action) in order to bring about that desired
outcome. It's even
a good idea to make adjustments to our plans and actions if
they don't appear to be bringing us closer to our desired
outcome. The main
difference I am proposing is that we do not condition our
happiness on actually achieving the specific outcome we
envision. Let our
desires for certain outcomes be preferences, not fixed
conditions that have to be met before we can feel happy or
satisfied or fulfilled. Instead we should do good
simply for the sake of doing good- let the doing be it's own
reward and not wait for some other reward for our actions that
may or may not come. Why should we condition our
joy and happiness on things outside of our
control? If
it takes receiving results that we desire from our
actions and efforts in order to make us happy then like
Esau, we've sold our happiness birthright for a pot of
stew to feed our temporary hunger. We've put a "middle
man" between our actions and our happiness. I say cut out the
middleman and find joy in the effort itself regardless of
the outcome.
I believe that is the practical meaning of the quoted
passage from the Bhagavad Gita- as well as from
Jesus' "Thy
will not my will be done" teaching. Here are a few
practical examples:
1- We do
our best in our jobs- we contribute to our company or our
customers the best we know how to contribute and we let the
giving of each days' honest effort be it's own
reward rather than trying to jockey for position or promotion
or the favor and attention of bosses. As we take this
worry-free attitude to work, work will become more enjoyable
whether or not promotions and raises come. And chances are that kind of
honest giving without expectations will be noticed by bosses
and rewarded- but if it's not, there is still no cause for
worry or anxiety.
2- We love
and serve our spouse whether or not they
reciprocate. We
let the act of being kind, showing compassion, serving their
needs be it's own reward and we don't let ingratitude on their
part have anything to do with our happiness because we are not
motivated by "the fruits of action." Chances are when our actions
become pure like this- even if there are years of built-up
resentments and emotional distance built up in a marriage, they
will start to melt down. But even if they don't you
can still derive happiness out of the very act of giving
regardless of the outcome.
3- We do
our best to raise our children and give them love, support and
boundaries. We
impart our values and do our best to set a good example and we
derive joy out of the very act of sacrificing and serving our
children- grateful for the very opportunity to have children to
sacrifice for and serve. And we don't tie our
happiness to how our children "turn out." The truth is they (like us)
are never done "tuning out"- we are all here to grow
spiritually, and spiritual growth is eternal. So even if we think our
children aren't "turning out" how we want them to, we no longer
have to be anxious and miserable about it. We can just continue to love
them and encourage them and take the attitude of "not my will
but thy will be done." And one thing we know for
sure about God's will is that it holds as sacred the individual
freedom of choice of each individual. So if our children are making
choices we wish they wouldn't, we can be like God and allow
them to make those choices and learn from the consequences of
those choices while also doing what we can within our power to
help them or to help others that are affected by the choices of
our children.
These examples are just a few- and are more on the "big" end of
the scale. The
principle applies equally in "little" things- like:
1-
Exercising for the joy of exercising unattached to whether we
loose the weight we want to or not.
2- Praying
for the joy of praying- whether or not we think our prayers are
answered in the way we want them to be.
3- Cleaning
the kitchen for the sake of having a clean kitchen for a few
hours- even if it's a mess again the next day or even later
that day.
So if you're feeling anxious or worried about something-
investigate why that is? Inevitably, if you inquire
deeply, you will
find that it is because you are desiring a certain result that
is really out of your control and quite frankly none of your
business! When you
see that, you can relax and say "not my will by Thy will be
done" and just enjoy doing what you can do- and offering it as
Abel's unconditional offering of the best you have to give
instead of Cain's conditional offering of the second
best. You
can recapture all the energy of your imagination that was being
sucked up by imagining the worst thing that could happen and
living as though it had already happened. Worry is actually just a
misuse of imagination. It's taking the creative
power of our imagination and using it against
ourselves.
Breaking our anxiety habit isn't easy- it wasn't created overnight
and it won't be cured overnight. But as we become more aware
of the actual thoughts that are causing us to feel anxious and
question those thoughts- asking ourselves if we are too
attached to our own self-will to our desired outcome and
conditioning our offering and our happiness on the "fruits of
work" instead of the work itself. Little by little we can
re-learn to detach our joy from things outside our
control.
I
don't believe the point is to try to reach some "desireless"
state where we just don't care what happens in our
life. I
think it's fine to PREFER a certain outcome- just let it remain
a preference and not a condition of our
happiness.
If things turn out differently than we preferred, we can
then look for the blessing in that- the opportunity to
grow spiritually.
DISCLAIMER:
I wish to acknowledge that there are chemical and physiological
imbalances that can cause heightened anxiety or "panic
attacks." This is
a medical condition that needs to be treated in order to help
bring the chemical and hormonal levels back into
balance. The
anxiety I am addressing in this article is the common variety
that we can all fall into- good old "worry." Even those who do need to
receive medical treatment for panic attacks, once brought back
into proper balance still need to deal with the common anxiety
and worry mindsets that all have to deal with and this article
hopefully will help us to deal with more
effectively.
John Groberg writes on a
wide variety of topics related to personal and spiritual
growth. His slogan
is Grow. By Choice™. His articles draw out
principles of personal and spiritual growth common to the
world’s ancient wisdom and spiritual texts as well as many of
the great philosophers, poets, and writers of ancient and
modern times.
These principles
are then put to the test in his own life with an emphasis on
simple, sustainable practices we can apply in our daily lives
to more effectively deal with the stresses and struggles of
modern life and to more fully realize the benefits of
deliberate growth.
John developed a
model called the Divine-Align-Shine model as a way of visually
organizing the principles, practices and the overall process of
personal and spiritual growth. His writings are cataloged and
organized on his website, www.johngroberg.com
where
contact information is
available.
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